


Impossible

by Vanessa_Cocotea



Category: Doctor Who: Eighth Doctor Adventures - Various Authors
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-24 11:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8370064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanessa_Cocotea/pseuds/Vanessa_Cocotea
Summary: From September 2016:Eight tries to explain eating to a worm and ends up terrorising the poor thing...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Quick wrap-up: My computer and my tablet have BOTH conked out! And, unlike times past, I'm in a slow period and there's no money to fix either for the time being. I'd use my phone, but the overage charges are crippling. So it's the PL and all the attendant hassles. Fun. This whole bunch of nonsense redefines overdue.
> 
> I wrote a little - handwritten - story in September - just to do SOMETHING. I've also been doing handwritten notes for Oasis and I hope I can now get that finished ASAP. Anyway, my little drabble thingy:

The Doctor strolled along, munching on dark chocolate buttons. Soporo had to be the quietest planet he'd ever visited. Not a sound. No wind. Nothing. The place WAS inhabited - by the Soporatoes. Creatures who looked like giant s-shaped, maroon-coloured worms, with hidden appendages and features that appeared only when needed - which could be immensely frustrating and annoying. The appearing and disappearing body parts reminded the Doctor somewhat of EVE from the film, WALL-E.

The Soporatoes were pleasant enough, though mysterious, and not entirely understood as a species. They appeared to speak only in puffs of air - rather like smoke signals, that came from what the Doctor assumed was the top of their heads. At least, he hoped it was the top of their heads. They slept 20 out of 24 hours by Earth time reckoning. During sleep, they absorbed nutrients from the air and took care of other "bodily functions" through their skin.

It was almost impossible to see a Soporato as they blended in so well with the maroon-coloured environment. Even the daytime sky was a light maroon. And all three moons and both suns were pink. So when the Doctor suddenly felt something grab at his leg from a hollowed-out log, he was quite startled to say the least. He nearly dropped his chocolate buttons on the creature.

"So sorry! Please, forgive me!" The Doctor stumbled through an apology.

The appendage withdrew, amidst a furious barrage of air puffs. The latter part of which the Doctor managed, with difficulty, to understand. The creature had asked what the Doctor was doing.

"Just eating." The Doctor smiled. "They're called, "chocolate buttons". Quite good. I'd offer you some, but I'm - ah - not sure exactly how you'd be able to eat them."

"What's eating?"

"Ah, well, it's how humanoids get their nutrients."

"How is it accomplished?"

"Hmm..." The Doctor considered. This was going to be one of the weirdest experiences of his lives. Where should he begin? Every starting point he could think of seemed to point to an earlier point. "Right!" He thought. He began, "Well, for starters, our body parts don't move about inside us and they don't appear and disappear."

"Oh, how boring!" The Soporato exclaimed.

"That's as may be, but it works for humanoids..." The Doctor paused, "By the way, do you have a name? I'm called "The Doctor"."

The Soporato sprouted a mouth again - in the middle of his/her/its body. Last time, the mouth had been at the far end. But no other features appeared.

"If by "name", you mean "designation", it's Venalyce - pronounced, "Vee-nuh-leese". The air puff replies were coming from all over the creature.

"Hello, Venalyce!"

"Hello, Doctor. You were saying?" The mouth disappeared again.

"Yes, of course. Where was I?" The Doctor pointed to his mouth. "Organic substances go in here... Wait, before that. We, ahm, absorb, eat, consume various organic substances - which is usually done at fixed points during our day. For example, morning, noon and evening. These are called "meals" - specifically, breakfast, lunch and supper."

"Sounds ridiculously complicated."

"It can be. Now take breakfast - for example. Porridge - made from a plant called "oats", is a typical breakfast food. It can be eaten plain or with other organic substances added. I prefer milk and sugar."

"Wait, humanoids MIX organic substances, then ABSORB them? Sounds dangerous."

"Depends on the substances. The three I've mentioned are relatively harmless and, in fact, beneficial and quite flavourful."

"What's "flavourful"?"

"The effect a food has on what we call our "tastebuds"."

"Tastebuds?"

"Yes, they're here - on our tongues." The Doctor opened his mouth to show Venalyce where tastebuds were - when the Soporato suddenly raised up, sprouted legs - in the usual place, but no arms, and a mouth on the top of his/her/its head and ran off, screaming - air puffs inexplicably producing a loud cawing sort of cry.

"Wait!" The Doctor called. "I haven't finished!"

The second inexplicable cry, "YES, YOU HAVE!", came from the depths of the forest.

The Doctor stood stock still, a completely baffled look on his face, staring into nothing. Now what had he done? "Oh, well," he sighed. "At least, now I won't have to try to explain digestion..."

The End


End file.
